Sephiroth's Comeback
by funnykids264
Summary: Ever since Caius was labeled as "The Strongest Final Fantasy Villain", Sephiroth has been forcefully kicked out of the spotlight. Now he sits at home eating Yazoo's cookies and watching anime. But when Caius proposes the two team up, will Cloud, Lightning, and others stand up against them.
1. Sephiroth: The Washout Villain

**Sephiroth's Comeback**

**AN: So, guess what you guys? LilVirga (From Let's Make a Movie, Let's go to the Beach, etc.) and Funblocker62 (From How to Win a Girl's Heart) have joined up along with a third bestfriend, FunnyKid264 to create the best Final Fantasy XIII/XIII-2 humor fanfics you ever read.(Or try to at least) So as our comeback we put our heads together to write a fanfic that will bring us back into the swing of humor and thought of this little charm. (Virga's idea)**

**Summary: After fifteen years of being refered to as Final Fantasy's best villain, Sephiroth begins to lose his touch, spending his days gorging himself with food and living with Kadaj and his gang. How will Sephiroth get back to the top? With Caius's help of course!**

Sephiroth watched himself on the television as he pierced his Masamune in Aerith's chest. She sunk to her knees, her trademark pink ribbon coming undone and her white materia falling into the water in the Forgotten River. Cloud rushed over to Aerith's now lifeless body, and shook her slightly.

"This can't be real!" The Cloud on the television cried.

Sephiroth grunted to himself, shoving another one of Yazoo's cookies into his mouth. "For fifteen years I wanted to redo this ONE scene. With my experience I could make this scene as heart wretchingly sad for the people who loved Aerith and make the sick and twisted people cheer for her death. They did it for Zack in Crisis Core. Damn you, Square on teasing us with that Final Fantasy VII PS3 Demo. I wasn't even in that and I'm one of the main characters too!" His hand reached for another cookie only to graze around an empty plate filled with crumbs. "Yazoo!"

A younger man with long silver hair like Sephiroth scurried to his side wearing a pink frilly apron over his black leather coat, and holding a plate of freshly baked cookies. "Here you go Sephie. Chocolate chip. Your favorite."

Sephiroth glared at Yazoo while snatching the plate with slight possessivness. "Stop calling me Sephie! I am an evil villain, damn it! I demand a little more respect around here! Let me have my dignity."

"I'm the one wearing an apron and baking YOU cookies, 'oh so great villain'. Or at least you were."

Sephiroth stop midway to taking a bite of the cookie and glared at him. "That was low, Yazoo." He set the cookie back on the plate. "Look at me. I'm nothing. I used to be the top Final Fantasy villain. I had my own theme music that almost every FF7 nerd downloaded on Itunes and play it just to get their blood pumping. It's sung in latin! But now that damn Caius."

Sephiroth stood up in a dramatic fashion ready to go on a long villain monolgue. He stared out the window of his apartment (which is in the Lifestream by the way) and watched the glowing green streams float around outside. "What does he have that I don't? My sword is way bigger then his. His looks like Soul Edge. And my hair is much more voluminous and flowy then that Caius's filthy purple hair. What, is he gay? And his last name is "Ballad"? Ha! Is he a ballerina! I don't need a last name. I am THE Sephiroth. The One Winged Angel!"

"We're back!" Loz and Kadaj bursted into the apartment and sang in unison.

"Loz! Kadaj!" Sephiroth barked making the newcomers jump. "You just ruined my monolgue. You never ruin a villain's monolgue! Especially if they are the Greatest villain in all of Final Fantasy!"

"Well you were," Loz stupidly stated, "until Caius took your place. Have you seen his outfit? It's better then your desi-AH!" He screamed like a girl with Sephiroth pointed his Masamune from the other side of the room at his throat. (Becasue it was a pretty long sword)

"No one is allowed to mention his name ever in this house, again!"

"Yeah, because he's so lame." Kadaj sucked up to Sephiroth. "Like he has no cool accomplices like you do. Like he has that little blue haired girl who has random visions and dies all over the place. What's her name Yeul? Sounds like a goat. Pfft. Lame."

"Yeah, but," Loz continued to stupidly talk about how great Caius is. "But he actually won. Have you seen the ending of Final Fantasy XIII-2. Hello! He was sitting on Etro's Throne like a Boss even though he died."

Kadaj and Yazoo looked at Sephiroth expectantly waiting for him to slit Loz's throat, or sprout his one wing, or go Super Saiyan-

...Oh wait, wrong fandom...

But instead Sephiroth sighed, dropped his sword and sat back on the couch and turned the channel to watch television.

"Nice Loz, you pissed him off." Kadaj lectured. "Now he's going to be like for the rest of the night."

"We have to figure out a way to get Sephiroth to be the best villain again. He has nothing else except that title." Yazoo said.

"He has us!" Loz offered.

"We gotta think of soemthing fast." Yazoo said after a moment of silence.

"I got it!" Kadaj said. "Let's start a zombie invasion."

"How are we going to do that?" Yazoo asked.

"We create this disease and inject everybody with it. Then they'll turn into zombies and take over the world." Kadaj said.

"And then?" Yazoo questioned further. "How are we going to create this...disease."

"I...I don't... it can't be that hard can it?"

"We can steal candy from kids in the park." Loz offered.

"We did that last week." Kadaj said.

"How about hi-jacking?"

"Yesterday."

"Killing stupid people in alleyways?"

"This morning."

"How come I'm never there when you do the fun stuff." Yazoo pouted.

"Because your too busy playing Mrs. Sephiroth." Loz teased making kissy faces at him and tugging on Yazoo's apron. "Nice apron by the way."

Yazoo's face flushed and he ripped the apron off him, throwing it in Loz's face.

"And no offense..." Kadaj began, and internally flinched when Yazoo directed his glare at him, "but you get kinda...crazy."

"I'm an antagonist, I have to be crazy." Yazoo complained.

"Yeah, but your...freaky. Like...almost as freaky as...as..."

"Lady Gaga!" Loz staged whispered into Yazoo's face, making his brother shove him back.

"I am nothing like Lady Gaga!" Yazoo whined, flipping his long silky hair over his shoulder. "I dressed like her for Halloween once!"

It was then a portal opened up behind the bickering brothers and...the last man they expected appeared. Loz saw him first.

"Ah!" he screamed like a girl for the second time that day.

"Yeah, that's how it sounded." Kadaj said, discussing with Yazoo about how he laughed in Rude's face during the fight at Edge.

"No, it's it's-" The other brothers turned around and gasped at the sight of Caius Ballad himself, and tagging behind him, Yeul.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Yazoo demanded, protecting his...master?

"I am here to see Sephiroth." Caius answered.

"Well, the boss doesn't want to see you right now." Kadaj said with nose in the air.

"Mostly because he's in his underwear watching anime and gorging himself with chocolate chip cookies." The brothers looked at Loz with narrowed eyes. "What?"

"Who's at the door?" Sephiroth asked, almost looking sick with all the cookies he ate. His hair even lost it's shine. His eyes widened at Caius's figure.

The bronze skinned man walked past Kadaj and his gang. "Sephiroth, I presume."

"What's it to you, Ballad?" Sephiroth asked with scorn.

"May I come in? At least for my friend here, she's been walking all day and might be thirsty." Caius spoke with manners. Sephiroth looked behind Caius at the young thirteen year old who just stared on with a sort of zombefied look. When she caught sight of Sephiroth she smiled.

"Fine. Yazoo! Could you gives us another batch and some milk for our guests."

There's Sephiroth!

Yazoo smiled genuinley, snatching the apron from Loz and headed back to the kitchen where he's been familiar with.

"So, what brings you here?" Sephiroth asked as he guided Caius to into his apartment.

"I have a proposition for you." Caius said.

**AN: So what do you guys think. Like it? Hate it? Not sure? Want the next chapter? What do you want!?**

**Please leave a review (No trolls, because we'll just troll you right back) And let us know of grammar mistakes because LilVirga likes fixing up on the grammar. Let us know what you like to see so we can get ideas. We will credit you if an idea is used. And we hope you follow the story. We do have things planned (it won't be a very long story) but we do like to know what we can do to make this more enjoyable for you.**

**And since Crossovers aren't too popular, let people know about this story. Particularly if their Sephiroth fans, Caius fans, Lightning fans, Cloud fans, just Final Fantasy VII/XIII/XIII-2 fans in general who are looking for a good humor fic. Or if you know any who liked LilVirga and FunBlocker62's stories previously.**


	2. Gathering a Team, Protagonist Senses

**Sephiroth's Revenge**

Noel Kreiss found himself in the bustling city of Edge as soon as his "Super Hunter" senses alerted him that his enemy has joined forces with another. A skill only a 'true' protagonist of a videogame can pick up.

Likewise, Cloud Strife, everybody's favorite angsty blonde chocobo head, had retired and settled down with his now busy delivey service, married Tifa, and is also raising his adopted son Denzel, and another kid coming it's way.

Tifa wasn't showing yet, having just recieved the news a week prior. But unfortunately, it seemed that the happy family couldn't remain in peace forever. He was only mildly surprised to see a strange foreigner with longish messy brown hair enter the 7th Heaven.

Tifa also noticed the obvious stranger, and sensed that he wasn't here for a drink. "May I help you?" She asked politely, assuming the young man wanted directions. Noel was accustomed to the gawking whether people did it discreetly or not. He knew that Tifa was obviously trying not to be rude.

"I'm looking for a Cloud Strife." Noel answered, the patrons steering around the brown haired pulsian.

"Your here about Sephiroth, aren't you?" Cloud asked having just come back from his delivery run. Tifa's wine colored eyes widened in shock.

"He's alive." She barely whispered gripping onto the edge of the bar to steady herself.

"He has joined forces with the villain of my time, Caius Ballad." Noel informed the dark haired bartender.

"And you want to join forces." Cloud assumed, already one step ahead.

"Let's talk inside." Tifa suggested, letting Noel into the 'home' part of the bar. Denzel and Marlene, who were playing a videogame upstairs looked out into the hall to see Noel. They looked at each other in curiousity and facination.

The three conversed quietly in Cloud and Tifa's bedroom, the children standing outside the room to listen in.

"So who do you got?" Noel finally asked after clearing things up with the couple.

"You just expect us to trust you?" Cloud asked in a skeptical tone, leaning against the wall. Noel was instantly reminded of a certain pink haired soldier who also shared the same stoic personality. (And face...)

"As we speak, Caius and Sephiroth are scheming. If we thought they were a handful before, just imagine them as a team."

"Alliances like that never last." Cloud stated matter of factly. "Sephiroth is cold and ruthless. With a murderous intent on revenge. Believes he is the 'chosen one' destined to lead the planet and become a God. And this Caius Ballad is an all-powerful warrior."

"The immortal guardian of the timeline." Noel added, having known Caius as well as Cloud knows Sephiroth. "He has vast knowlege of every possible scenario and uses it to his advantage. He's also very manipulative, which leads me to believe he is the real one pulling the strings."

"Sephiroth isn't a puppet..." Cloud trailed off at that but quickly picked back up, "They'd turn on each other eventually. They would just clash." His wife nodded in consideration, listening in on the two conversing.

"After they reach their goal." Noel continued to explain, For now, they have the motivation and the belief that the both of them can take the whole world down. Afterward," Noel almost smirked at the image in his head. Standing in a barren wasteland having eliminated all lifeforms, then still bloodthirsty direct their swords at each other, their battle cries echoing throughout the now empty world. _What a sick joke._ "yes, they will go after the other in a second."

"You make a good point." Cloud said.

"Cloud's good with a sword." Tifa decided to answer Noel's earliar question. "Especially that monster sitting in the corner." Cloud snorted at his wife's comment. "He also has like six other swords that combines together to create one. He's also good with a katana and greatswords, I'm guessing any sword." She looked to her blonde husband for confirmation which he nodded silently to. "he also can handle strong attacks."

"As for me," Tifa continued, "I'm trained in martial arts. My weapon is preferably my gloves, but I also like to use claws for extra damage. I could be of huge help-"

"Tifa," Cloud interupted, "you're with child. I can't let you get caught up in this."

Tifa spun on her heel, glaring at Cloud. "I'm not a delicate flower! I can handle myself!"

"Fine, just keep yourself out of the danger. We'll handle the rest." Cloud told her, which made Tifa sit back down with a slight pout on her face.

"I have a useful skill of summoning monsters to aid us in battle." Noel informed. "I'm also a swordsman, and have the best hunting skills."

Cloud reached into his sidetable drawer and pulled out a yellow notepad, something he uses for his work. He flipped the page that had jotted down objects that his cutomers ordered. He wrote down their names, weapon, and skill.

"And I have a soldier, Lightning Farron," Noel contined as Cloud wrote, "wields a sword/gun hybrid weapon."

"Who else?" Cloud asked.

"She's got a younger sister, Serah. Sword/bow hybrid."

"Do you all use hybrid weapons?" Tifa asked, eyeing Noel's sword.

"Snow is fights like you do, Tifa." Noel told her. "Big dude."

"We got Barrett!" Tifa commented almost excitedly having forgotten about her earliar grump about the setback of her participation. "And he also has a gunarm."

"Vincent Valentine," Cloud added, "also specializes in guns. Do you have a gunsman?"

"Sazh Katzroy. Dual Guns." Despite the idea of just exchanging statistics, Tifa couldn't help but find amusing the slight competitivness they both had. _Men_.

"Anybody with a spear? We got Cid Highwind."

"Fang has a spear. She also has a partner named Vanille. Cute girl. Very enthusiastic in fights."

"Reminds me of Yuffie." Tifa said to Cloud who nodded silently caught up in writing down all the information. "Yuffie is our youngest member, but she is useful with her ninja skills and thievery."

"We got a youngest in our group too." Noel said, "Hope, he's our medic."

"There's a boy named Hope?" Cloud asked.

_Your a man named Cloud. _Noel had wanted to say to him. But instead just shrugged.

"And I'll put down Nanaki and Cait Sith." Cloud then looked over towards the door. "Denzel, Marlene."

On the other side of the door Marlene answered followed by a 'what?' that was directed at Denzel. Tifa tried to hide her smile. "Get in here." Cloud stated sternly.

The two children shuffled into the room guiltily, not without Denzel staring at Noel which Tifa took notice of. "Denzel, it's not nice to stare."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't realize I was staring." Denzel said sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

Cloud already knew his 'son' was trying to change the subject. "Since you apparently heard everything, I don't have to explain. We're gonna need you two to pack up for Elmyra's."

Meanwhile on Cocoon/Pulse...

"Hope, you still want this?" Lightning asked the silver haired teen, holding up an old Playstation Game. The 'Greatest Hits' Label on the side.

Hope gasped, briskly snatching it out of her hand. "My copy of Final Fantasy VII! I was wondering what happened to it." He blew the dust off of his precious copy, the debris flying towards the pink haired soldier.

"How old is that game?" Lightning coughed, swatting away the cloud.

"The game itself came out...a year after I was born," Hope informed reading the back of the case, "I didn't get it till I was eleven though. It's my all time favorite videogame!" He squealed like a little girl hugging it to his chest. "I can't wait to pop this in the Playstation. I hope my save is still there. Nevermind, I'll just do a new game."

Lightning plucked the game out of his grasp and set it aside. "Did you forget we're looking for your blueprints. How'd you even lose them?"

"I sketched it like...six months ago," Hope counted on his fingers, "And since me and my dad moved here to Bodhum, all our stuff got mixed in with the old stuff. My school stuff is with the Academy stuff, the Academy stuff is with my miscellaneous stuff, my dad's old Sanctum things are scattered about...it's awful."

The blueprints that the two were searching for were for Hope's new 'boomerang/blade'. It had started when the NORA gang literally laughed in his face about how lame his weapon was. So with inspiration from his mentor and idol he designed the boomerang/blade.

Lightning thought it was a little silly at first, but when Hope finally showed her his sketches, she was impressed with the detail. The kid knew what he wanted. And the reason Lightning is helping Hope with looking for those damn blueprints is because...she felt something foul in the air.

Almost like a storm is coming...but a hundred times worse. And she wanted everyone to be...prepared.

It was then Bartholemew poked his head into the attic. "Have you guys found what you were looking for?"

"No dad, not yet." Hope answered setting down one of his dad's old manuals from his entry position with the Sanctum.

"Why don't you both take a breather, you've been up here for hours. You'll get sick with all the dust and whatever else is up here."

"I happen to have a very good immune system." Lightning assured, which made Bartholemew laugh at the pink haired soldier's typical attitude. Lightning glanced over at Hope who was in a middle of a sneezing fit, "but we'll go out for a while to get some air. Then we could search through those boxes."

Setting down a box, Lightning rose to her feet and followed Bartholemew down the steps, Hope trailing behind.

"So you wanna head over to Lebreau's Bar?" Hope asked. He glanced over at the pink haired girl who seemed distracted by, well, nothing in particular, mostly everything. "Light?"

She blinked looking down at the silver haired teen. She shook her head, her pink bangs swishing back and forth, it was almost childish. "What's wrong?" Hope pressed.

Lightning's eyebrows furrowed, and it seemed odd for the usually direct and stoic soldier to be speechless. Her mouth opened and closed wanting to tell him, but just not finding the right words. "It's stupid was all she said."

Hope stopped in his tracks making the soldier turn around losing her patience, as always. But he was stubborn and kept his feet planted, arms crossed. Lightning scoffed, "Fine, I've...been feeling anxious today."

The silver haired teen cocked his head to the side, concerned, "Why?" He asked innocently.

"I...don't know." Lightning spun back around and started walking ahead. Hope caught up to her about to question her further, but she was already talking, "Hope. Just keep your guard up. Always. After our defeat..." Lightning grimaced at the word.

"You think Caius is plotting something else?" Hope asked.

"Noel's gone." The soldier said, "He said he was using the Time Gate. In other words, he's investigating." She groaned for the upteenth time that day, "I hate waiting around for that man. He couldn't have just told me. He may have mentioned something to Serah - Why are you smirking like that?"

The kid was smiling, no, _smirking_. "You said that like you and Noel are married." He then laughed.

Had this have been anybody else, she was have stormed off. But Lightning knew that Hope was only trying to cheer her up, so she only snorted in amusement. As she walked past him she ruffled his hair like a mother would a child, (Which made Hope pout in disapointment that that was how Lightning saw him)

Far above them was a certain silver haired one winged angel waiting for the perfect moment to strike...


	3. Cloud's Team and Cieth Attack

**Sephiroth's Comeback**

"Cloud, where are we going?" Marlene asked as Cloud put the last of Marlene's bags in his compartment in his Fenrir which has like 'infinite' capacity space.

"I'm taking you to Elmyra's. You'll be safe there." Cloud assured the young girl.

"Safe?" Denzel questioned, moving over so Cloud can close the compartment properly. "What's going on. I thought we were done with everything."

"Everything will be fine." Tifa said, ruffling the boy's hair then kissing his forhead. "Now be good." After she kissed Marlene's head she retreated back to the 7th Heaven where Noel was standing, patiently waiting.

Cloud sat sat in front of Denzel and helped Marlene in front of him so he was sandwiched inbetween the two children. He gave one final wave and drove off, leaving his wife with the time traveler.

"Hey Cloud." Marlene asked. "Who was that man?"

"He's a new friend of ours." Cloud said, hoping Tifa's usual excuse would work. It seemed to suffice for Marlene.

"We're not babies, Cloud," Denzel said, he's been becoming more perceptive coming with age. Marlene too, but she was more understanding. "We know you don't usually befriend anybody that easily." Cloud almost smiled at that comment. The kids knew him better then he knew himself. "Something's wrong."

"Will you and Tifa really be okay?" Marlene asked.

"Yes. We'll be fine. When it's over, we'll come back for you." Cloud said to the two children.

"Promise?" They said in unison.

"Promise."

Barrett was the first to pull up in front of the 7th Heaven. The sign in front of the door read 'closed'.

Barrett entered Where Tifa was just sitting down in front of a strange man wearing strange clothes.

"Is Marlene alright?" Was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

Tifa smiled her usual calm and gentle smile, Barrett was always so overprotectice of his daughter. "Barrett," she gestured toward the man in front of her, "this is Noel. He's here to help us."

Noel stood up, "Nice to meet you. I'm Noel. Noel Kreiss. That's a cool gunarm." He said almost like a kid at a parade.

Barrett looked over at his own arm in confusion, but then held it up in pride. "Pretty cool, huh."

"Yeah, how did you lose it?"

Barret was only slightly taken aback at the blunt question about something that was personal. But the kid reminded him of a child, ignorant to other people and letting the curiousity get the better of him. "Oh, it got mangled in Corel Village, er, my hometown. I got it replaced with guns."

"Awesome." Noel said, always facinated by new and unusual things.

"So, anyways," Barrett continued. "Where is my daughter?"

"Cloud took her and Denzel to Aerith's mom's house." Tifa told the big man. "We're waiting on the others."

"How far is this woman's house?" Noel asked, the dark haired martial artist.

"She lives in Kalm. Just outside Midgar." Tifa said to the pulsian, "it isn't far from here."

A loud crash could be heard outside followed by a few alarms. Noel on cue pulled out his sword, expecting an ambush. But instead of a threat, all he saw was a petite woman with short dark hair wearing what looked similar to what a kid looked like if they were trying to be a 'ninja'. A giant shuriken was hooked onto her back.

Next to her was a cat (**walking nonetheless!**) with a crown on his head.

"Watch where you're goin' next time lass!" The cat (**yeah, he talked too, go figure.**) lectured the older girl.

"Don't blame me, you dumb cat. If you weren't jabbering in my ear the entire drive we wouldn't be crashing into everything!" She yelled back, gaining spectators.

"You shouldn't even be allowed on the bloody road! Are you sure you got your liscence? Sounds like hogwash to me." He continued to lecture, walking beside her on their way to the bar.

"Why you-"

"Yuffie!" Tifa said as she exited the 7th Heaven.

"Teef!" The ninja squealed running towards the older woman. Instead of hugging her like a _normal_ person would, the first thing she did was grab a hold of Tifa's breasts. "Wow, Teef, you're preggers, aren't you!? Your tits got bigger."

"Yuffie!" Cait Sith, pushing Yuffie bag from her knees. "Show some manners, lass." He looked back up at the bewildered woman. "Congradulations. And who do we have here?" He said, looking past Tifa's legs at Noel. "Is this lad the one I spoke to over the phone?"

"We spoke over the phone and I had no idea you were a cat?" Noel said in astonishment. Barrett, Tifa, and Cait Sith laughed at him.

"Pleased to finally meet you face to face. I am Cait Sith." He said shaking the boy's hand. "And this is-"

Yuffie swiftly kicked Cait Sith to the side, "I do my own intros, thank you." She said to the now twitching cat. She turned her back on Noel and drew in a deep breath. "I am the champion of the earth and the sky. I am the conquer of evil. The single white rose, Wutai..." She spun back around, one hand on her hip while the other stuck two fingers up. "Yuffie Kisaragi!"

The Final Fantasy Fanfare played making Tifa, Barrett, Cait Sith, and Noel look around in confusion.

"Where the hell is that comin' from?" Barret asked.

"My ipod." Yuffie said, whipping out her phone with the cover being a picture of her amongst a red and black background.

"Hi." Noel said. "I'm Noel. Noel Kreiss."

"How boring." Yuffie said, pretending to yawn. "Do this. 'The Hero from 700 years into the Future! Noel Kreiss!' " She quoted, imitating Noel's voice.

Noel shrugged his shoulders repeating her, "The Hero from 700 years into the Future! The hero of both Pulse and Cocoon-"

"Ooh, I like that." Yuffie quickly said, pleased that Noel adlibed.

"Noel Kreiss!"

"Aah!" Yuffie squealed, clapping her hands excitedly. "You are like so hot! How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"Damn." Yuffie muttered, spitting on the ground. Noel felt flattered that this older(?) woman seemed interested in him, and was very open about it. "Your two years younger then me. At least it's still legal. Can't wait to start working with you." Yuffie said, shaking his hands.

Meanwhile in an airship in the sky.

"If you try to tell me how to fly my ship one more time, I'll make your heads into a new steering wheel." Cid Highwind threatened, puffing a cigarette.

"We just asked how much more time we have till we were in Edge." Nanaki told the pilot in his usual rumbling low voice.

"Didn't Shera tell you to quit smoking?" Vincent asked, his arms crossed and leaning cooly against the side of the airship.

"Shera ain't here." Cid droned, "Unless you gonna snitch on me, Valentine, She ain't gonna know. And what she don't know won't kill me."

"But those cigars will." Nanaki said.

"These ain't cigars!" Cid yelled waving his package around his other hand, while steering with ease. "These are ci-ga-rettes!"

Their conversation was interrupted when they heard screams from below. "What the hell is goin' on down there?" Cid asked over his cigarrette.

"Get lower." Vincent told the pilot.

"What the hell did I just say about telling me what to do! Goddammit, Valentine, you're really askin' for it!" But he did what he said anyway. Outside of Kalm, people were being transformed into Cieth.

"What is this?" Nanaki asked himself.

Thumping can be heard from above them as Caius dropped Cieth on top of the airship. "Think they want in." Vincent said, drawing his gun, and swishing his cloak.

"You two clean up. I would land this bird, but these damn freak shows would climb all up in her."

Nanaki and Vincent ran upstairs and after Vincent counted to three, he tore threw the door and flipped over the Cieth shooting at their heads.

Nanaki hesitated before he charged in, pouncing on another and swooshing his tail to hit another.

Vincent dug his claw into the throat of one and managed to rip it apart with the help of his foot. He spiraled into an incoming Cieth, shooting off the rest one by one.

Cid felt the shaking of the airship as Vincent and Nanaki cleaned up. "Hey don't break nuthin' you hear, or I'll kill ya using only my cigars and some left over gasoline oil! Inconsiderate folk I swear."

To calm his nerves, he started humming to himself, the same tune that Shera usually hums.

Cloud was almost at Kalm with the kids when he sees everyone turned to Cieth. "What the hell are these?" Denzel asked.

Marlene screamed as one Cieth grabbed her by the leg attempting to drag her off. Cloud gets out his sword to fight off the fiend that dared touch the girl.

Marlene was shaking slightly and whimpering, "Hey, Marlene," Cloud patted her head to calm her down more, "you alright? You hurt anywhere?"

The young girl pointed towards her leg where a bruise was beginning to form from the rough contact. Cloud wanted to help her, but right now was a dangerous territory. The first thing they needed to do was to get them to safety, and to see if Elmyra is alright.

When they get to Elmyra's (evading as many Cieth as they can while the kids are with the blonde), the Turks were there trying to help Aerith's mother escape. Cid even came in at this time, landing by where the Turks were parked.

Cid, Vincent, and Nanaki exit out of the airship before more Cieth came. "Looks like there's a fight on our hands." Cid said, pulled out his spear and twirled it into a battlepose.

Denzel and Marlene clambered off the Fenrir and scurried over to where some of the Turks that were in charge of other civilians were.

Reno and Rude even stepped up, in their battle poses. "Think you get all the glory, spiky?" The redhead teased, smacking his rod against the palm of his hand.

The Cieth charged foward and Cloud was the first one to react, sweeping his bustersword and taking down three. Vincent swiftly and gracefully shot down the incoming monsters, while Nanaki was fighting one on one but still working efficently, while Cid (who was m.i.a. due to having to keep his precious baby from falling from the sky) vented all his anger and adrenaline out on all the monsters.

As for Reno and Rude, they were doing more posing and pre battle dances then actually fighting.

After the battle and most of the Cieth were defeated while others were kinda just wandering out there somewhere, while people ran away from them (seriously they weren't go really fast, they could walk).

"Cloud! Cloud!" The blonde heard his name being called by Denzel and Marlene. He turned around and his heart stopped. The children were standing over Elmyra's crumpled form on the ground, having been hurt during the battle.

Cloud rushed to her side, and Rude right away called for a medic. The blonde checked her pulse and sighed a breath of relief that her heart was still beating, though it was very weak and staggered a bit. She was unconcious.

They waited til the medics came to get them before Cloud realized that there was nobody else to take in Denzel and Marlene. The only other person he knew was...his eyes wearily glanced at Reno who was slapboxing with Rude (it was one sided and Reno swore he was winning).

"You two wait here." Cloud told the kids as he approached Reno who was announcing his victory despite the situation. "Reno." he addressed him, "I know it's too much to ask, but can you take the kids too?"

He scoffed, holding his rod behind his back while the other hand was in his pocket. "Do I look like a babysitter to you, spiky. Our job is to get the injured to hospitals, the rest out of town. Gainsborough needs hospitalization. The kids can't be in the way of the sick patients."

"Reno. There's nobody else." Cloud said, eyes pleading. He hated begging, but there was no way he could take the kids with him on a dangerous mission.

Reno's phone rings and he rudely ignores Cloud and answers it. When Cloud was about to speak again Reno held up his finger in a 'wait, i'm on the phone' gesture. "Yo, boss...yeah we got the last of them."

"Reno." Cloud persisted, "Denzel and Marlene cannot be left alone on the street."

Denzel actually heard that last part and felt a twinge of happiness that Cloud was trying so hard so he and Marlene wouldn't be alone. After living on the streets prior to being found by Cloud the last thing he wants to do was go back there again. Especailly have Marlene go through the same thing.

"What." Reno continued talking on the phone, plugging his other ear. "Yeah, it's the chocobo head...he's whinin' and cryin' about 'my kids got no place to go, boo hoo.'...but you said...he wants _me_ to take them. And I ain't no-...uh, sir...but...I...yes sir...fine, fine." Reno hung up and gave Cloud a hardened glare. "Where are the little runts?"

Meanwhile in Edge.

"What are those things?" Cait Sith asked when everybody came out of the bar upon hearing screaming.

"Cieth." Noel answered.

He drew his sword and charged toward one of the cieth slashing through it's abdomen. He summoned one of his monster allies which earned every other party member training their weapon on it. "Don't worry guys, it's with us."

They didn't have time to question, though Barrett still didn't seem convinced and helped in the battle.

During the battle, Cloud, Cid, and the others flown in. "Denzel and Marlene are alright." Cloud told Tifa and Barret.

"Oh, thank goodness." Barrett said in relief, Tifa also let out a sigh too.

"You took them to Elmyra's alright?" She asked, keeping an eye out on the battle for any Cieth in close proximity.

"Er, not quite." Cloud admitted. Tifa's eyes widened but a Cieth had come in at that time.

"Hold on." Tifa said. She kicked one Cieth knocking it back till it knocked over the others. "So who has them?" She asked in 'mama bear' mode.

Cid popped his head in the conversation quickly. "That redhead turk and his baldy sidekick."

Barrett was in mid shooting when he overheard, "that son of a bitch has my little girl. Spiky I'm about to pop a-"

Cid smacked his spear against Barrett's gun arm, disfusing him, "Calm down, big and angry, there was nothin' else spiky here could do. And he was only lookin' after your little girl and his own kid."

"Please tell me nothing happened to Elmyra." Tifa said having just taken down another monster.

"Elmyra was hit in battle."

"Oh my god, will she be alright?"

"We don't know." Cloud admitted. In the inside he prayed that she will pull through.

At that point, the rest of the gang plus Noel had taken out the last of the Cieth.

"So what now?" Yuffie asked, hooking her shuriken back in its place behind her back.

"We got to get to the Time Gate." Noel explained like it was the most normal thing.

The party looked at each other confusion. "What the hell is a time gate?" Cid asked.

**AN: Next chapter won't be out till September 14.**


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